


All of the Stars

by CloversDreams



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Given Zine Giveaway, Hospitalized Character, Hurt/Attempted Comfort, Injury, M/M, MafuYama cameo, Mild Language, Sadness, does it count as confession if the other person doesnt hear, im not crying youre crying, my poor boysss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23016010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloversDreams/pseuds/CloversDreams
Summary: Hiiragi checked his phone and saw that he had no missed calls or messages. That wasn’t like his best friend at all. Shizusumi knew he was a worrier and made sure to keep his mind at ease whenever possible.A terrible sense of foreboding washed over Hiiragi when the classroom door slid open and a somber looking teacher summoned him to the principal's office. Somehow he just knew that this would be bad news. Hewishedthat had been the case. It would’ve been so much better than getting the worst news of his life.“There was an accident earlier,” the principal explained with a frown. “Shizusumi Yagi has been hospitalized…”
Relationships: Kashima Hiiragi/Yagi Shizusumi
Comments: 11
Kudos: 70





	All of the Stars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amitiel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amitiel/gifts).



> Congrats to absolutelynoct for winning one of the zine giveaway prizes!! I hope you enjoy!!

Hiiragi was in a rotten mood. This was because Shizusumi stood him up that morning. They were supposed to meet at the usual convenience store then walk to school together. The guy never showed, and he didn’t so much as text that he’d be late. It really rubbed Hiiragi the wrong way that his best friend would be so inconsiderate. Oh, well. He’d get on Shizusumi’s case about it when he saw him later.

Hiiragi bought the usual bread he enjoyed, as well as the kind his best friend liked. Not that the guy deserved it. That was more out of habit. He didn’t even realize he’d purchased it until he stepped out of the store and looked down at the bag he held. It was too late by then. He looked up from the snacks when the soft sound of a siren echoed somewhere in the distance. That was an unusual sound so early in the morning. Someone sure was starting off their day terribly.

Hiiragi guessed he should be glad it wasn’t him. He pushed the thought from his mind since there were more important things he needed to consider. He practically stomped all the way to school as he practiced what he’d say to Shizusumi once he finally saw him later. It’d be the tongue lashing of a lifetime, that was for sure.

Except Shizusumi wasn’t in homeroom. Evidently, he was absent. Hiiragi checked his phone and saw that he had no missed calls or messages. That wasn’t like his best friend at all. Shizusumi knew he was a worrier and made sure to keep his mind at ease whenever possible.

A terrible sense of foreboding washed over Hiiragi when the classroom door slid open and a somber looking teacher summoned him to the principal's office. Somehow he just knew that this would be bad news. He _wished_ that had been the case. It would’ve been so much better than getting the worst news of his life.

“There was an accident earlier,” the principal explained with a frown. “Shizusumi Yagi has been hospitalized…”

Hiiragi must’ve blacked out.

He couldn’t remember a thing after he got the horrible news. At least not until he stood at Shizusumi's bedside in the hospital. How he’d gotten there didn’t matter. Hiiragi's bottom lip trembled as his gaze traveled over the visible bandages and he took in just how frail his best friend looked lying there. He had no idea how he hadn’t collapsed yet.

Next to him Shizusumi’s mother was a weeping mess. She almost fainted when the doctors told them that her son probably wouldn’t wake up any time soon. They couldn’t even tell her if he’d ever open his eyes again. There was simply too much they didn’t know. A lot of it would be up to him, they said. She was a wailing mess almost immediately. Hiiragi felt her pain deeply. He made sure not to show his own pain in front of her. She was suffering enough and didn’t need that added burden.

To see his best friend in such a state was horrifying. Part of him expected to wake up from this nightmare any minute now. All he had to do was wait. Yeah. He clenched his trembling hands into fists and gritted his teeth. He would be strong.

He stayed at the hospital for the rest of the day. Even after Shizusumi’s mother had to leave. Hiiragi wouldn’t– _couldn’t_ – go anywhere. His legs wouldn’t let him leave the room even if he wanted to. So, he settled down in the chair against the wall. He fought back the tears in his eyes with all his might as he watched a trio of nurses do their job.

“He’s pretty banged up. Must’ve hit his head pretty hard. I heard it was a car accident?” The first nurse said to his coworkers.

The second nurse sighed, “Hard to imagine someone was driving under the influence so early in the morning, but apparently that was the case. The driver was apprehended not too far away.”

“Poor kid was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.” The third nurse replied with a shake of her head.

The gossiping trio of nurses left the room without so much as a glance his way. Once they shut the door behind them Hiiragi stood. He walked over to the bed then immediately fell to his knees. He hid his face in his hands and cried. Everything exploded out of him at once. Of all the people for something like this to happen to, why _him_? Shizusumi was caring and thoughtful. He was a good person, anyone who met him could see that. Heck, the guy was the reason Hiiragi got out of bed a lot of mornings. Shizusumi hadn’t ever wronged anyone in his life so why was he lying there battered and unconscious? It made no sense whatsoever.

The pain in Hiiragi's chest was unbearable. He'd never felt anything quite like it and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to describe it if asked. Was it like being stabbed with a red-hot poker? Or more like such intense pressure that his ribs would crack then his heart would implode? Perhaps it’d be more accurate to say it was akin to having his own heart torn right out of his chest. Yes, that was it. There before him on that hospital bed laid his heart, unresponsive and bandaged.

He finally let his hands fall away from his face. The thought of losing Shizusumi was way too much. His palms were soaked with his own tears and he couldn’t do a thing to stop the soft sobs from slipping past his lips. He’d managed to be strong while others were around, but just like always when it was just the two of them Shizusumi got to see how he really felt. Hiiragi allowed himself to be vulnerable with him. Though there wasn’t anyone to offer him a comforting hug or pat on the head this time.

Hiiragi squeezed his eyes shut and wished as hard as he possibly could. He wished it wasn’t real. He wished for the nightmare to finally end. He wished that it was all a terrible prank. All he wanted was a damn miracle. When he opened his eyes and saw that nothing had changed, he doubled over and cried harder. This wasn’t right. He would give _anything_ for them to switch places. He refused to believe that the world could be so cruel.

*

Hiiragi opened his eyes and blinked slowly. The familiar hospital room came into focus. Damn. Not a dream. He lifted his head then rubbed his eyes. He’d fallen asleep with his head upon the bed again. It was in the usual spot next to Shizusumi's right hand.

He took that hand in his and squeezed. Three days had gone by and there was still no sign that the most important person in Hiiragi’s life would wake up any time soon. He’d been there every single day from the moment visiting hours began until they closed and he overstayed his welcome then had to be kicked out. The doctors came and went. Not a single one of them was actually useful. If they _were_ they wouldn’t say things like ‘we don’t know if he'll regain consciousness’ or ‘shouldn’t you be at school?’. How pointless. He kind of hated them.

Hiiragi simply glared at the doctors until they finally left him and Shizusumi alone again. Then he'd talk to his best friend, as he’d been doing for the past three days. It was more for his own benefit since he was sure the guy couldn’t hear him. He’d tell Shizusumi about the weather, and about the dog he pet on the way over. He talked even when he had nothing left to say. It was still unclear whether that was to comfort himself or his friend. There was no one around to stop him so he continued on.

Evening had fallen when Hiiragi received two surprising sets of visitors. The first, his classmates. Two of them showed up to drop off his homework and ask about Shizusumi's status. They didn’t stay long. It was easy enough to drive them away.

The next visitors came about two hours later. There was a soft knock on the door before it was opened and a familiar head peeked into the room. Curious, salmon-colored eyes blinked at him. Then the gaze shifted to the bed. There was an unreadable look in them.

Hiiragi ground his teeth as Mafuyu and Ritsuka stepped into the room. He took a step away from the bed to stand directly in their path and growled, “What are you two doing here?”

“Shizu-chan is my childhood friend too. I’m allowed to visit.” Mafuyu replied. He looked past Hiiragi and his gaze lingered upon the bed. It looked like there was something he wanted to say but no words slipped out. He gathered his thoughts and blinked a few times before he finally asked, “Is he improving at all?”

Hiiragi’s gaze fell to the floor and he whispered, “No.”

There was silence in the room after that. Mafuyu finally turned around and noticed the papers on the small table. All schoolwork. None of it completed. He shook his head then sighed, “You can’t keep neglecting school. You’ll get in a lot of trouble. Maybe even have to repeat the year.”

“Shut the hell up! Like I give a shit about that!” Hiiragi shrieked. Logically, he knew what Mafuyu said was true. That didn’t mean he had to like it. He knocked the pages off the table then slammed his fist onto it. “I don’t need lectures from a shitty person like you!”

Ritsuka grabbed him by the collar and exclaimed through gritted teeth, “Don’t talk to him like that, you jerk!”

A hand grabbed Ritsuka’s wrist. He looked over at Mafuyu and watched him shake his head then let go. His voice was as calm as his expression when he hummed, “Please release him, Uenoyama-kun.”

Hiiragi watched the dark-haired bastard do as he was told. He was wrapped around Mafuyu’s finger, the moron. They were gross. Then the guy had the freaking audacity to turn towards him and glare as if he expected an apology. Wait. No. That wasn’t it. There was something else in those blue eyes. The usual fire and cockiness wasn’t there. This was something else entirely… as if he actually felt bad for what he was going through and regretted his own outburst. What the hell?

Hiiragi couldn’t take this shit right now. Tears filled his eyes and he did his best to keep them at bay. It was a war he never could’ve won no matter how hard he tried. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand in an attempt to keep his cheeks dry at the very least.

Mafuyu glanced at Shizusumi then back at Hiiragi and asked softly, “You never told him how you felt, did you?”

“No! Now there’s a chance that I might never get to!” Hiiragi sobbed. That was all it took. One simple question that happened to be right on the nose and his resolve crumbled. He burst into tears. He couldn’t take the horrible feeling within himself. He just wanted to numb the constant pain. Tears flowed down his cheeks in a steady stream as he cried, “How could I have been so stupid? I should’ve said it. I had so many chances to. What’s _wrong_ with me?”

Hiiragi didn’t struggle when Mafuyu pulled him into a hug. He simply returned the embrace and wept into his friend's shoulder. This was the kind of comfort he'd never offered Mafuyu during his time of need. That was something he still regretted, and probably always would. So he couldn’t fathom why he was getting it now. Was Mafuyu really just that much better of a person than he was? Probably.

He gripped the back of Mafuyu’s shirt tightly with both hands. His voice cracked as he whimpered, “I miss him.”

“Mm.” Mafuyu hummed to show that he understood the sentiment.

Once Hiiragi finally calmed down a bit the two of them stepped away from one another. He was certain that hug was something they'd both choose to forget happened. The memory would never leave this room. His gaze landed upon his slumbering best friend and the pain in his chest was back tenfold.

“I think you should tell him how you feel,” Ritsuka muttered out of the blue.

“He can’t hear me, idiot.” The response wasn’t nearly as snippy as Hiiragi would’ve liked since it was accompanied by a sniffle. “That would be pointless.”

“Maybe not with his ears, but I think it’ll reach him where it counts.” Ritsuka poked Hiiragi in the middle of his chest.

Hiiragi frowned and grumbled, “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Maybe not, but it’s comforting,” Ritsuka replied with a shrug.

“Shut up. Who asked you for something like that?” Hiiragi hissed.

Ritsuka sucked his teeth then crossed his arms. Mafuyu pat his shoulder gently. Hiiragi glared at the two of them. He honestly had no idea why they were still even there. No one should be there at this hour. It had only been him and Shizusumi over the past few days up until visiting hours ended. There was no need to change that now.

Mafuyu looked down at the papers on the ground. His gaze returned to Hiiragi and he said, “Shizu-chan wouldn’t want you to neglect your studies.”

“Did I ask your opinion?” Hiiragi snapped. He didn’t need or want any goddamn lectures. His gaze was as cold as ice when he added, “Don’t you have a dog to feed? Go away.”

Ritsuka gritted his teeth and growled, “Ungrateful ass–”

Mafuyu took the dark-haired boy’s hand and cut him off. “Give our regards to Shizu-chan when he wakes up.”

“You mean _if_.” Hiiragi muttered to himself. He frowned and clenched his fists. He felt the familiar sting of tears in his eyes again. At this point he had no idea how there were any left within him to cry.

“When,” Mafuyu corrected him. He pulled Ritsuka to the door then waved over his shoulder with his free hand. He didn’t even look back as he said, “You look terrible and should get some proper rest, by the way. You don’t want the first thing Shizu-chan sees to be you in such a state. He might die of fright.”

Hiiragi growled to himself. He glared at the doorway for a solid minute before he finally gave up and looked back at the ground. He let out a defeated sigh and picked up his schoolwork. As much as he hated to admit it, Mafuyu was right. He needed to at least do the bare minimum and hand in these assignments if he wanted to avoid all sorts of trouble. He stood then frowned at the papers in his hand. Of course they’d be from _that_ class.

He pulled his chair up to the side of the bed then sat down and said, “This is your best subject and one of my worst, so I’m gonna read it out loud. You can chime in at any time when I mess up.”

Hiiragi was in the hospital room bright and early the next morning, as was the norm. The woman at the reception desk greeted him by name and he simply grunted at her. He was glad to find that there weren’t any doctors or nurses in Shizusumi’s room when he got there. He shut the door behind himself and took his best friend’s hand. A thought occurred to him last night and he’d been waiting for the moment that he could finally share it.

“Hey, Shizu, do you remember that time in middle school when we went to the amusement park for a school trip and you really didn’t want to go on the Ferris Wheel?” Hiiragi asked as he squeezed Shizusumi’s hand. There was no response, as expected. That didn’t stop him from continuing, though. He was lost in the memory as he said, “I pitched a fit so you ended up agreeing to ride it with me anyway. I knew you’d give in. You always did.”

Hiiragi frowned to himself. He’d always been such a brat and Shizusumi never once called him out on it. Frankly, he hadn’t changed very much. And yet Shizusumi remained by his side. He rubbed his thumb along the back of his best friend’s hand and continued, “And when we finally reached the top where the ride stopped, I was so afraid I was shaking.” His bottom lip trembled. “You though… you ignored your own fear just to wrap your arms around me so I wouldn’t cry.”

He used his free hand to wipe away the tear that dripped from his eye. Hiiragi forced a smile and said, “Well, I need you to comfort me like that again. I can’t stop crying all on my own, Shizu. I need you. I always have.”

Hiiragi stood there and watched as he received no response whatsoever. He choked on a sob then covered his mouth with his free hand. He knew that it was pointless talking to someone that couldn’t hear him, yet he couldn’t help himself. There was so much he wanted to say, too many things he’d regret if he never got the chance to.

He let go of Shizusumi’s hand then wiped the tears from his eyes. Hiiragi cleared his throat and muttered some nonsense about how his mother had gotten on his case about school. After a bit of an extended complain-fest about that he finally sat down in his usual chair and sighed to himself. He was prepared to spend the next few hours talking about anything that popped into his head as had become the norm.

Hiiragi had already lost track of the time when he remembered something else he’d wanted to do. He perked up a bit and eyed his best friend carefully as he said, “I told you how they won’t let me bring my bass in here, right? Ridiculous. Still, there are lyrics to this one hook I thought up which might work with our recent song. I can’t get it out of my head, so I’d like you to listen to it.”

Hiiragi shut his eyes and began to sing. He made sure to keep his voice soft so he wouldn’t attract any unwanted attention. The words poured from him effortlessly, encased in the deep emotions they made him feel. His only wish was that his best friend could hear them too and that the guy would follow them back to this world.

When he finally finished singing he opened his eyes to see that nothing had changed. His heart sank. Hiiragi balled his hands into fists and bowed his head. Of course something as stupid as the sound of his voice wouldn’t bring Shizusumi back. Foolish thoughts of an idiot. He checked the time on his phone then swore under his breath. He was there past visitor hours again and that mean nurse was about to start their shift. Hiiragi gathered his things then pet Shizusumi’s hair and promised he’d keep working on the song until it was good. Then he said he’d be back bright and early tomorrow and scurried off.

*  
  


It was hard to believe it had been a week since the accident. Hiiragi spent more time at the hospital over the past six days than he had in his entire life combined. Though that time would be significantly cut as he had no choice but to go back to school tomorrow. He hated the thought of not being by Shizusumi’s side.

Hiiragi sighed and walked over to the window then opened the blinds. It was later than he’d thought. He looked up at the twinkling stars in the sky. While he personally found stars to be boring, Shizusumi would’ve loved the sight of them. Hiiragi was silent as he watched them for a moment. He supposed now that he actually took a chance to look, they were kind of pretty. He could only imagine the smug look Shizusumi would have on his face if he ever said that to him. Hiiragi almost wanted to smile at the thought.

He turned around and pet Shizusumi’s hair. The ache in his chest hadn’t become any more bearable at all. Hiiragi had only learned to live with it. He wondered what they’d be doing right now if they weren’t here. Probably working on a new song together. Then they’d realize it had gotten late and they’d have to hurry back to the closest home. Shizusumi would give him one of his signature looks, but go along with whatever dinner plans Hiiragi came up with on the way.

Tears pooled in Hiiragi’s eyes and he took Shizusumi’s hand in his. He bowed his head so that his bangs fell forward to hide his expression. Not that it did much good since his tears dripped onto their connected hands and his voice cracked as he whispered, “You can’t leave me all alone. It’s not fair.”

Hiiragi shook his head and squeezed the hand in his as he cried, “Nothing else matters, you know! Not school, not family or friends, not even the band!”

He’d give up anything he had just to have his best friend back. He wiped the tears from his cheeks and sighed, “Ahhh, I’m no good with this crap even in a situation like this where you can’t hear me. Figures.”

Hiiragi squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath then exhaled it slowly. He didn’t know what he was so nervous about. Shizusumi deserved to know how he felt. It might be the only chance Hiiragi had to tell him. There was no sense in chickening out now. He squeezed his eyes shut and said, “I love you and I need to tell you that properly, so you have to wake up before I lose my nerve.”

He let out a surprised yelp and very nearly jumped out of his skin when his hand was squeezed a second later. Hiiragi’s eyes snapped open and he looked down to see Shizusumi blinking slowly. There was unmistakable fondness in his dark eyes. He made a pained face and then mumbled, “I’ll always hear you, Hiiragi.” He threaded their fingers together and smiled weakly. “Because I love you, too.”

Hiiragi didn’t have a chance to be embarrassed. He immediately burst into tears and hugged Shizusumi as best he could while he was still lying down. He received a soft grunt in response then muttered an apology into Shizusumi’s neck, but he didn’t let go. He felt arms wrap around him tenderly before there was a soft kiss planted atop his head. Hiiragi hiccuped as he clung to Shizusumi and cried his heart out. No, he’d never let go again. This guy would just have to face the fact that he was stuck with him for the rest of forever now.

Shizusumi pet Hiiragi’s hair comfortingly. His voice was soft and a bit hoarse as he said, “You don’t have to cry anymore. I’m right here.”

Hiiragi shook his head and whined, “You really scared me, Shizu! I’m gonna cry for the rest of my life!”

“But I’ll heal faster if you smile for me,” Shizusumi hummed without missing a beat. “That’s a proven fact.”

Hiiragi lifted his head and Shizusumi immediately put his hand on his cheek. He shut his eyes and smiled at the comforting feeling. There would never be anything in the world quite like the feeling of Shizusumi’s touch. He opened his eyes once more then leaned his forehead against his best friend’s and whispered, “Thank you… for not leaving me.”

Shizusumi’s thumb gently caressed Hiiragi’s cheek. His voice was soft since they were so close and he knew he’d be heard when he said, “I plan on being by your side for the rest of forever, so you might as well get used to it.”

Hiiragi’s cheeks burned as happy blush darkened them. His smile widened and he shut his eyes then nodded and whispered, “I’m pretty sure I can live with that.”

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so happy that the request was for ShizuRagi !!! Any excuse to write about them makes me dayyyy <3<3
> 
> I do apologize to my wonderful son Hiiragi for making him suffer though… but he did get confessed to in the end so all’s well that ends well I suppose :’3  
> He is going to be extra clingy with Shizu after this! rightfully so tbh. there are a whole lot of cuddles in their future. just the two of them holding each other and being thankful that the other is in their arms -cries-
> 
> I chose this song for the title because of these lyrics,
> 
> _You're the song my heart is beating to_
> 
> _So open your eyes and see_  
>  _The way our horizons meet_  
>  _And all of the lights will lead_  
>  _Into the night with me_
> 
> im emotional TuT


End file.
